


My Dancer, My Dealer

by Alexaisawkward



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drugs, Harry Has An Eating Disorder, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Stripping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-07 06:49:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4253499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexaisawkward/pseuds/Alexaisawkward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis used to be a dancer, and Zayn has always been a dealer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just added a new beginning to the first chapter, also going to update the next chapter tonight, so look out for that!

Zayn remember clearly the first time that he got high. Well maybe not that clearly but he remembers definite moments in a close friend’s bedroom holding a small pipe in his shaky hands and practically choking to death when taking the smoke in for the first time. He knows it made him feel good, better than he had felt since the last time his dad beat the shit out of him before he disappeared. J had been begging him for such a long time to just chill and have a smoke, what he didn’t know was how much Zayn actually wanted to drown himself in his own sadness, and choke on smoke until his lungs burst open. He couldn’t though, he had to think about his sisters, his mother. While he was sitting there, clouds roaming his head a slowing his movements he thought back to all those anti drug presentations from his school years. How addiction could creep into your life after just one time experimenting with your drug of choice. Zayn thought it was a crock of shit it wasn't like he was smoking crack for christ's sake as he would say. So he let himself take in the smoke and he let it crowd out all the bad thoughts and all the pain from the bruises and for once, his mind was quiet.

"I think we just got 80 more in last night, but we have some big deals going down tonight so most of it will be wiped out then." Louis slung down another 8th as he spoke, packing up the bag before moving down the line.  
"I know mate I know, tonight's the big one, we need an ounce for Zig tonight, better have the money on hand this time though." Zayn marked another baggy and slung it in. He observed the cheesy dollar signs on the bag and laughed slightly to himself, moving on to bag the next chunk.  
"I swear to god Zayn if you let him have it without him paying in full I'll slice you one and don't think I won't." Louis took his pen and slid it across his throat like he was cutting a bitch. Louis may be small, but he would curb stop someone without a thought and ruin their life with one look.  
"I don't doubt you Lou, I never have." Louis smiled and zipped the black duffel bag. He ran a hand threw his hair and the slung the bag on his shoulder.  
"Okay, let's go." Zayn turned to leave and Louis took some time to appreciate his slicked back hair and tight clothes. He's always been able to appreciate Zayn aesthetically, with his gorgeous dark almost olive brown skin and jet black hair. His chocolate brown eyes were so deep, and he always wore the best clothes. Mostly black of course, usually tight skinny jeans and simple black t shirts. His cheekbones could probably cut someone and damn, his jawline. Louis shook his head slightly to get away from his thoughts. And continued to the black car. Zayn opened the door and motioned for Louis to get in the car. Louis smiled gently appreciating how courteous Zayn has always been. Secretly Zayn only opened the door for him because he liked the excuse to look at his perfect ass without being shamed for it. Then Zayn went round to get in the passenger side before they sped off. Louis turned to Zayn, "First we need to make a stop off at Little Darlings for Niall and Haz." Louis turned the corner to head downtown.  
"You get their stuff ready?" Zayn asked glancing over at Louis.  
"Course, Dub of C for Haz, 10 oz. E for Niall and his extra 8th of Green." Zayn nodded.  
"Man Haz has really cut down." Louis shrugged.  
"Between all the E that Niall gets into him and what his bitches buy for him he's doing more than ever, coke or otherwise," Louis mentioned , "I would cut him off if I didn't know how much it helps when you're dealing with being a stripper and prostitute." In an attempt to change the subject Zayn replied,  
"So how did you meet Niall and Haz anyway? How did you become such good friends?" Louis kept his eyes on the road.  
“Well what can I say, I was a troubled kid. Lets just say found myself on the streets at 16 and Niall helped me out. Met Harry that way, and frankly he was so fucked up he made me feel normal. So I hung around him a lot. He’s a real sweetheart too if I’m being honest, always wished I could help him.” The whole time he talked Louis kept his eyes on the road, but it seemed more like he was looking at a scene Zayn couldn’t see. He decided to let the topic go and soon enough they were at Little Darlings. The thing about this place is, even though it’s got some of the best dancers and a bartender that could make shit taste like champagne, it looked like a dump. It looked small from the outside and the peach paint was peeling off the side of the building. It had those cheap blue florescent lights that said “My Little Darlings” that made it sound like a doll shop. Sometimes the lights would blow and Niall, the owner, was too broke to replace them so it would read “ y L tt e Da i gs” for six months. But once you stepped inside, oh man you know you would never want to leave. Louis and Zayn got out of the car and stepped up the curb to enter the seemingly run down club. Of course Harry was dancing and all the guys were swarming all over his rail thin body. Zayn had to look away. He saw Niall behind the bar, drunk as all hell arguing with another guy. Once they got closer they realized the men were arguing about footie and Zayn could see Louis roll his eyes.  
“Well you’re a god damn wanker! I know they’re gonna win and you can get your fucking cunt face outta here!” Louis stepped in smoothly in front of the other guy and shooed him away. As he passed the guy was shaking his head and bumped shoulders with Zayn. Louis looked happy to see Niall, Zayn could tell if it hadn’t been for Niall Louis would’ve died on the streets. Niall was slightly older than them, maybe by 7 years. He was late 20’s with blond hair and the bluest eyes. He was also very fit and had muscles coming out of his white shirt. He was very loud and very Irish but he had one of the kindest hearts in the world. Zayn stepped closer in time to hear Louis whisper,  
“We have your stuff, where do you want it?”


	2. Chapter 2

Zayn stood leaning with his back against the bar, he decided that Louis could handle dealing out Niall’s shit. Louis and Niall had just snuck off to the back room where Niall’s office stood to trade off, drugs for money. Maybe even test a bit out to make sure Niall agrees that it’s good shit. 

While waiting Zayn caught himself watching Harry dancing. He almost felt bad for watching, like he was taking advantage of him just by looking. Harry was only being covered by a sparkly blue thong, but Zayn had seen him like this before. Harry was, well, Harry. He was thin, so thin you could constantly see his ribs protruding. He also had abs that looked rock hard, but don’t let that fool you, it’s not from lifting at the gym. He was so small because the only substances he let pass his lips were cocaine and the vodka Niall supplied him with. Those gates are closed to food, which he’s terrified of, he says it will ruin his physique. Zayn remembers Louis telling him all of this one night when they were blazing on half an ounce of OG kush, and talking shit. He also remembers Louis mentioning the copious amounts of Ecstasy Niall manages to slip into Harry’s beloved vodka. Niall’s argument is that it makes Harry like the customers, they’re all very soft after a couple of shots. Harry’s so burnt out on coke he never notices the extra drugs burning his veins, and attacking his brain. Zayn never liked that Niall did that, but he never said anything because they didn’t want to lose Niall’s business and Louis didn’t want to lose his friendship. He went back to looking at Harry’s collarbones, so prominent that you could stack quarters in them before throwing them into a shot glass. Harry’s tattoos were both captivating and hilarious. The ones he got close to sober were stunning, butterflies on his stomach and birds on his chest. The ones he got burnt as hell after a week and a half bender were anything from cheap deformed stars to a green bay packers logo. 

Despite all of that, Louis was right. Harry had one of the biggest hearts Zayn had ever known. Zayn knew he just wanted love, but the love he was getting was not the right kind. Zayn sighed, understanding the needs Harry felt. 

As he turned away from where Harry was sliding down the pole, Louis joined him in the room again. They both walked towards where Harry was, just as the skinny boy hopped of the stage, lit cigarette in hand. 

“Oh so you smoke now, you’re gonna die in two years you know that right Haz.” Louis said smacking Harry’s arm playfully. 

“Louis, Zayn, come to see your favorite hunk?” Harry shouted in a slurred voice with a smirk on his face. They watched as he quickly downed two shots before shaking out his shaggy, semi curly, brown hair. “So you got what I need baby?” He said to Louis, after puffing on his cig. Zayn wouldn’t admit his mouth curled down at the nickname he used for Louis. 

“Of course Haz.” He pulled out the baggy as Harry handed him a wad of five pound notes. Louis got a serious look on his face before hugging Harry. It was interesting watching them hug, Louis very short and compact, and Harry all long limbs and bones. “Promise to take care of yourself Haz?” Harry rolled his eyes as he pulled back from Louis. 

“Yes Lou, I promise.” Louis turned to Zayn and nodded. Zayn started heading out towards the car with Louis following close behind. When they arrived at the car Louis said,

“Okay now off to The Crypt.” Zayn nodded. 

“What do we need for there? I know we need the ounce for Zig now, a bunch of 20’s of E, C and Reefer, and a couple R’s for Coughlin.” Zayn says while sorting out the bag. He took out what they needed in the first bag leaving only the cash. He threw that in the back of the car.

“We also pass the alley on the way there, so we need maybe 10 bags of H.” Maybe others would be confused by their conversation, though it wasn’t hard to figure out. Zig always bought weed, E is ecstasy, C is cocaine, reefer is obvious, R for roofies and H is the big one, heroin. A is acid but the only customers they get around here for that are Coughlin and Zayn’s old neighbor Scott on occasion. The alley was a place where all the heroin addicts gathered to buy there shit, and boy did they love the high quality Zayn and Louis made, if they could afford it. So after their stop at the alley to sell 10 bags to the highest bidders and throwing the cash back in the car, they pulled up to The Crypt, which is exactly what it sounds like. An underground club that’s invisible unless you’re looking for it. You don’t even notice the stairs leading to the entrance until you’re right next to them, hidden by some shrubs ya know. Once you step inside it’s all crazy lights and sweaty bodies dancing to deafening music. All you could smell was sweat and cigarettes, nothing could overpower those smells. If there was a gas leak no one would know until the place blew up. Zayn took one bag and made the rounds to their regular customers and anyone else willing to buy. Pulling out what they needed and stuffing in the cash. Their business was so legit they even took credit cards with one of those things you plugged into your phones to scan them. Anything to bring in the cash and move out the product. Eventually he found Zig sitting with a bunch of older women in cheap makeup. 

“Zayn my Man! How’s it flowing dawg?” Zayn rolled his eyes at the older man. 

“Zig, do you have my money?” Zig rubbed his sweaty, meaty hands together. 

“Well you see, I have the money but I was thinking-”

“I’m gonna stop you now, either you give me all the fucking money Zig, or you’re not getting shit.” Zayn clenched his jaw to assert he was serious this time. Zig nodded.

“Okay man chill, you’ll have a heart attack you’re too serious.” Zig seemed intimidating when you first met him, but he was a baby in real life. He had the same color skin as Zayn and he always seemed to be wearing the same cheap tracksuits and cheap “gold” chains. Zayn knew him because he was a friend of his old boss, Shahid, or as his friends and customers knew him, “naughty boy.” Zig was a fucking scumbag who always had some brilliant idea that would manage to get Zayn in trouble. Not this time Zayn said, once Zig handed him the money and he counted it, he gave Zig what he wanted and continued on his way until he met Louis near the entrance. They only had one more stop tonight, Inferno. You know like Dante’s, because if you find yourself in this club you’re probably going to hell. Regardless of the fact they could somehow get STD’s by just looking at some of the people there, Zayn and Louis always sold tons of shit there, so they went every night. 

After making it through the rounds only half covered in sweat and having one person vomit on their shoes they headed back to their pent house. The place was beautiful, all white walls and silver furniture. It cost a pretty penny but they convinced the owner to sell it to them on spot. They threw down the bags and started counting their cash. and the amount they made from credit cards. They made about 2,750 pounds with Little Darlings, and with the two clubs combined, 20,000 pounds from coke, 6,500 in E and reefer and of course 1,000 in roofies. The alley brought in a good 3,000 pounds. Not their best but a total of 33,250 wasn’t bad for a Tuesday. Usually on a good Saturday they would end the night with 100,000 or so. One weekend they went to so many places and upped the prices so much they came out with 750,000 by Monday morning. They slumped down on the couch to play some Assassin’s Creed and smoked the kush they saved for themselves. When Louis went to get it, Zayn licked his lips, this was always the time of night he found him the most attractive. Finally Zayn relaxed back and turned on the xbox, while blinking with bleary eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

They started this business from the ground up. It all began one drunk night when they promised each other they would be in big business together. They had been doing small time deals for a long time, selling off shit for other people. They wanted to be making their own shit, the best around, so they could keep the cash for themselves. First was to come up with the special blends and recipes. They collected a team and brewed for weeks until they came up with the perfect stuff. They even had a panel of addicts to test it out. They were serious about wanting to succeed, and once word got out they had the best shit in the country, maybe even the world, they were in business. They bought the warehouse and put up their front business, and they started raking in the money, people were practically giving it to them. Even before that, they first had to build their friendship. They met through friends, they were both at the same bar with their friends and ended up hanging out, and finding out they had a lot in common. Louis told Zayn about his past, well some of it anyway. Zayn told Louis what he could, that he was a dealer trying to support his mother and sisters. His father was abusive before he died mysteriously in his bed one night, and that’s all Zayn really had to say. Zayn always wanted to know more about Louis, so sitting there high as hell playing a video game was the perfect time. 

"So Louis, you never tell me much about your past, or you at all really." Louis had a blunt between his lips and he was holding a steam roller in his hand. After his hit was over he handed the blunt back to zayn and let out a slow stream of smoke. Zayn took the blunt between his lips and pulled in slowly, the smoke feeling like it was reaching down down down to the depths of his lungs, filling him with giggles and good vibes.  
"Well what is there to say, dad walked out on Mum when I was really young and ever since we've had trouble supporting ourselves. I've had to have odd jobs since I was about 13. Then I met Niall when my mum and I were living on the streets and he changed things for me. He was really nice and he helped me start making money for myself. I owe him my life, my mums too. He fronted us three months rent when we met, told me he knew I would work and pay him back. So I worked in his club and I danced. I started selling a little on the side to customers, easy money. I'm trying to pay for college now too so I can have a legit job. That's it." Maybe it was the fog in Zayn's mind from the pot or maybe his dick was thinking for him but Zayn was stuck on the "I danced" part. 

"Like Harry?" Zayn muttered.

"What do you mean?" Louis asked puffing out a breath of smoke, speaking while blowing out made his voice notably deeper and more raspy. Zayn's cock responded. 

"You danced, like Harry?" Zayn shifted to try and cover his elongating member but Louis already seemed to notice a bit. He kept his face neutral. 

"I did, was the best too. I got the most tips every night." Before thinking about it too much Zayn spit out,

"Probably because of your ass." Louis just looked at him for a moment. His eyes gleamed sort of shocked but also a little..happy? Pleased? Zayn wasn't sure but it was good. It took a minute before Louis responded. 

"Maybe, why do you say that, you like my ass?" Louis replied and Zayn could see the smirk on his face even though it was half turned away focused on the game they were playing. 

"Well, I was thinking about you dancing in Harry's little outfits and I thought they would definitely make your ass look amazing." Zayn tried to say casually but at this point he was rock hard with imagines of Louis dancing, Louis on a pole, Louis naked. Oh god. Louis paused the game and turned to look at him thoughtfully before saying, 

"Come on, I want to show you something." At this point Zayn stopped trying to hide his erection and just dropped his hands. Louis grabbed one of them and happened to glance down before smiling to himself. The thing about Louis was even though he was small in stature he could kill you with a look. He was also very slim and his muscles were not extremely obvious but they were there. His hair was short and sandy brown, most of the time he had it quaffed up. He had the bluest eyes, so sharp they would cut you better than the razor in a pencil sharpener. Louis would know too. Zayn follows Louis into his bedroom that he never went in out of respect for his privacy. Louis bedroom was huge like Zayns', you walked into a big cream bedroom with a king sized bed and a giant TV and the next small connected room had a pole, right in the middle. Yeah Zayns room didn't have that. It was surrounded by cushioned seats attached to the walls, it was a circular room and from the ceiling came light and there were speakers in books in the walls. Louis pushed Zayn into the seat, Zayns blunt still in hand and flicked on the radio to a familiar song by The Weeknd and turned away from Zayn. All Zayn could do was hit the blunt again and again. This was too amazing to be true. Ever since Zayn met Louis he's always known how amazing he was and always thought he was hot. Now here he is in front of him. The way Louis turns around when the beat drops, the way his hips sway drives Zayn mad. And when Louis takes off his clothes to reveal a tight little thing Zayn almost loses it. His cock is screaming. But then he notices something. Ragged red lines running across Louis thigh. Angry marks that were raised skin crossing over and over each other. It looks as if blood has been trapped and turned into a ragged rough scar that still hurts and bleeds every day. Zayn was shocked. He stood up and walked over to Zayn stopping him. He looked down into his blue eyes, "why?" He questioned them in his mind. Louis looked down. Oh. Louis clicked off the music.  
"I'm sorry, I- I know they're bad and disgusting I'm sorry you saw them I didn't think about it." Zayn shook his head so slowly Louis didn't know what he was going to say. Zayn simply touched them. Just slightly, before sliding into his knees and kissing every last one. Eventually he stood back up. "When's the last time." Zayn said. Louis gave him an exact date, the 26th of August last year, the day before they met. Tears fell from Zayns' eyes before he even knew what was happening. He was grabbing Louis' cheek to cup in his hand before he leaned down ever so slowly to lay a peck onto his lips. That felt like the beginning of forever, and Zayn realized there was no chance he could lie to himself anymore and say he didn't love Louis because he did and he wanted the best for Louis. Louis lips responded quickly and wholeheartedly giving back what they were taking in. Zayn pulled back a bit. "I love you, and you never have to do that again."


	4. Chapter 4

Louis remembers the first time he decided to pick up a small blade and attempt to cut out his sadness with it. He was about thirteen years old, around the time his Mother's drug addiction came to a peak and she overdosed three times in one month. He believes it was a Tuesday night and he remembers sitting there staring at homework that he had no idea how to do, and he had no one to help him. His older sister moved out long ago and his mum was out searching for a fix. Louis was never good at math, even though he desperately wanted to be. He liked getting good grades even if no one was there to congratulate or be proud of him. Louis was pacing his room when he noticed a pencil sharpener on the corner of his small desk, the only one in the run down one room flat he and his mum shared. When he saw the small blade glimmer in the light, he felt his skin crawl and itch. He felt too full. Too full of sadness, anger, and grief. He just wanted to let these emotions out but he never could and he never knew how. So when thoughts of his absent father and fucked up mum started to fuel his feelings of worthlessness he twisted loose the screw that was in the pencil sharpener, and held it up so he could watch it gleam in the light. He remembers seeing the scars that littered his sisters arms and wondering where all the razors in their shower disappeared to. He quickly dusted the remaining pencil shavings off and what happened next is the first glimpse of time in a continuum of scars. He knew he didn't want people to see his like they could so easily see his sisters, so he pulled off his pants and sat on the edge of the lonely bed. He breathed for a minute, shallow breaths while he counted, one, two, three. His heart rate slowed as he looked at the blade next to this pale skin. Then he did something he never does, he got angry. He got angry at his dad for leaving before Louis had the chance to remember the color of his eyes or the tone of his voice. He got angry at his mum for loving heroin more than her children. But mostly, he got angry at himself. He got angry because he wasn't enough to make his dad stay. He got angry because the thought of him wasn't enough to help his mom quit the drugs and get her life together. He was mad he was too stupid to do his homework, but mostly he was angry because he wasn't smart enough to know how to fix his life. All this anger and resentment and hatred made that first cut, not him. He was purely the vessel to hold the blade and press down and drag it into his skin. Once he saw the blood come in beads and roll off his arm stain the cover of the worn down sheets his head was clear, he felt washed clean of his sins. He could breathe. For a minute he was normal and so was everything else so he opened another slit, and another. Until his left leg was covered is shallow slits bleeding out his feelings of abandonment and loneliness. He finally dropped the blade. He wishes that seeing all the blood coming out was enough to make him stop. He wishes that the bath water turning red was enough to make him stop. It wasn't. 

 

When Louis woke up he could vaguely smell the scent of cooking oil coming from somewhere in the apartment. He opened his eyes to see the cream color of an unfamiliar ceiling. At first Louis was confused by this, but soon realized he had fallen asleep in Zayns bed, which was currently unoccupied on one side. Louis slowly stood up and stretched before realizing he was only wearing small briefs on his frail body. His scars were in full view, and he sat back down to admire then for a moment. On his pale skin they stood out rough and red like he'd just put them there yesterday although it had been years for some of them. He ran his fingers over the deeper ones, breathing slowly. Sometimes he could swear they still hurt just a little bit. It was a slight ache against his feather light touch. He was shaken out of his daze by the sound of soft singing. He stood and crossed the hall to his bedroom to throw in sweatpants before heading towards the sound and smell promising food. Upon entering the kitchen he saw Zayn wearing a similar pair of sweatpants. Louis could see all of his stark black tattoos stand out against his mocha skin. Louis went straight to the coffee pot and grabbed a mug. Before he could register it, a kiss was placed on his right temple. He smiled to himself. "Morning sleepy head." Zayn said going back to flipping his famous chocolate chip pancakes. Louis took a seat on a stool at their breakfast bar. "What time is it?" Louis asked yawning and scratching his head slightly. Zayn leaned over to look at the oven clock. "Quarter to eleven, you never sleep this late." Louis almost jumped out of his skin. "Shit! I have class at 11!" With that Louis jumped out of his chair and down the hall into his room to pull on a shirt and beanie before bolting into the kitchen. He grabbed his bag, keys, and three pancakes before stealing a kiss from Zayn and smiling at him then bolting out the door. Zayn smiled, turned off the stove, and sat down to enjoy his breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! you can contact me on tumblr: alexisawkward. Like and Comment I appreciate anything you have to say.


End file.
